Dreamcast: Essential for Your Post-Apocalyptic Survival

If you asked someone right now what they would pick if they could have one system to bring around with them during the zombie/plant/comet-heading-for-Earth apocalypse, what would it be? If they answered with anything but a rousing and heartfelt “DREAMCAST”, reach over and smack them in the back of the head. They are wrong, because the Dreamcast is the ONLY system worth having when the zombies are shambling your way. Don’t believe me? Read on.

The Dreamcast is an essential survival tool for the end of the world for countless reasons. First and foremost, it’s assured that no matter what stage of mutant outbreak you are in, people will be making new games for the system to keep you busy. For whatever reason (and by that I mean the most obvious reason, the system is the best thing ever) people are still churning out games for it. Since it is no longer a supported system, people can publish whatever they feel like for the system without having to pay licensing fees. Development for it is much less daunting than a “modern” machine and can be done with much less supporting hardware. Games can also be published to a standard compact disk if needed, and considering how many of those are probably floating around now that no one on earth uses them except my idiot brother, publishing a game is a snap and cheap. So when you run into another band of wanderers in the frozen wasteland that used to be your home city, there is a better-than-not chance one of them is a Dreamcast developer.

It is 2012, the system is nearing it’s thirteenth birthday (finally a man), and three new games are out or on the horizon for this year alone. It is the only console where independently produced, commercial physically released games are prominent enough to merit their own Wikipedia page:

GUNLORD (LINK)
REDUX: DARK MATTER – (LINK)
STURMWIND – (LINK)
Wikipedia page with even more titles – (LINK)

At this rate, come 2020 when Skynet takes over, we will have an outstanding quantity of titles – more than enough to keep you busy while you live in a tree house, collecting rainwater and waiting for the wolves below you,  gnawing on dead bodies, to disperse.

At this point you may be asking, “But Fred, if it is the end of the world, shouldn’t I have a handheld?”

Fuck you.

Can a handheld connect to the internet with full keyboard? No.
Does a handheld have wired internet you can plug into, because wifi is certainly not going to be available after the podmen have landed? No.
Is a handheld heavy enough to be used as a bludgen against anyone who threatens your food stash but light enough to carry around in your backpack? No.
Does a handheld have fishing pole and maraca attachments, both of which can also be fashioned into weapons? No.
Does a handheld play full quality games on your tv and then transform into a portable experience with the VMU? No.

Dreamcast clearly bests the competition in any circumstance, be it games or survival. They are still readily available, oftentimes in new and unopened condition, so stock up before the C.H.U.D monsters start chasing you down.

You’ve made it this far, why not download the other necessity for the end of days, the latest episode of our show.

Protoaddict
Linguist, Archeologist, Musical Savant, Robot, Asshat. Only one of these apply to this guy. The host of the show, who also sometimes writes and makes videos!