Loot Crate Review – March 2015


What box did we get? Loot Crate “Play” – March 2015
What is it? Loot Crate is a monthly themed subscription box that sends subscribers an assortment of toys and products. It is specifically for genre fans and often has exclusives.
What does it cost? From $17.95 to $19.95 monthly for the US, depending on your subscription level
Was this one worth it? A weak yes, but a yes

This months Loot Crate was themed “Covert” and had an undercover agent theme. I am not 100% sure that it delivered its value proposition, but at the same time I feel like I love this months delivery more than most because it just feels properly curated to me.

Let’s go over it’s contents.

“Exclusive” Blinktime Stealth Watch (Value – $3.32 on Amazon with free shipping)


I know this is not an expensive thing, but I didn’t even know this WAS a thing that existed before now. It is honestly a really cool, sorta grown up thing to get in loot crate, which normally sends me stuff that is really skewed to children and kidults. I will be wearing this and using it, so take that Apple Watch!

It should be mentioned that the only thing exclusive about this watch from all I can tell is the card it comes on. Who you trying to fool Loot Crate, we have the internet.

Exclusive Bond: This is stirred Tee shirt (Value – Aprox. $10)


I love the idea behind this shirt. It’s cute, it references something I like, it has artwork that, if worn, once can rest assured that someone will ask them why that man is sad inside the Aperture science logo. It has so much going for it, untill you realize it is printed on a white tee shirt. Instantly tossing this into my give away box, please stop printing fun designs on undershirts.

Paracord Survival Bracelet (Value -Aprox $7 on Amazon / Make your own at any crafts store )


While I would normally think of this as a cool item, I have some issues with it.

First off, what exactly am I surviving with this “survival” bracelet? I don’t wander off into the woods all that often and rest assured if I did it would probably be because I am on the run from the law. But how the hell am I trapping food or whatever with this thing? Maybe I can hang myself auto erotically to “survive” the absolute boredom of being in the woods camping or whatever, but I am at a loss as to what this is really used for.

Now that I say this all I can picture in my head is some bearded fellow wearing toe shoes and a Utilitkilt also wearing this, expounding its virtues to me. And you know that his bracelet is digital camo green. YOU JUST KNOW IT.

Next, and more relevant, you already included a thing for my wrist in this shipment Lootcrate. Unless I feel like going to a rave in my time machine, I don’t need that much crap on my wrists. This does match my shoes/laces combo though, so i guess on days where I don’t need to know the time this could help me accessorize.

Field Notes Loot Crate Editions (Value – $6.66 for 2, normally sold in threes for $10 on Amazon)


These are notebooks. People used to use them before computers to take notes. With a pen. So if you’re hipster enough to want to write notes IN ANALOG FORMAT, but not hipster enough to be seen with a Moleskin, then Field Notes are for you.

Heres the thing. I’ll use these. I take notes sometimes, or doodle or whatever. I feel like these are very costly for what they are at retail price, and part of that is because if I really need paper I’ll steal it from the office. I mean, maybe at $2.50 a notebook I would see it as a more reasonably priced purchase.

Spy Mad Libs (Value – $4 on Amazon)


I remember these being fun when I was younger, but I was also younger enough that just saying poop was funny. Heh. Poop. This is a nice regift/stocking stuffer for someone with young kids. For people my age we have Cards Against Humanity.

Orphan Black Loot Crate Variant Cover (Value – $4 MSRP for non variants)


Now this is just lazy. It’s an alternate cover comic of a show I don’t care for, nor do I know people who care for it who are not involved in the show or work at Nerdist (Where they love literally everything.) Not only that but its not even art, its a photo/screencap from the show itself. I cannot imagine this is anything but garbage inbetween the cover pages, so this is a give away.

S.H.I.E.L.D. Badge and Lanyard Prop (Value – $5-10 on eBay)


This has one use, and its not for me, but this would make for an excellent cosplay prop for people who wanted to do S.H.I.E.L.D. You can get it on eBay if you want though, I suspect this holds no value for most people.

Ninjak Digital Comic Code (Value – Negative 50000 Dollars, Go Fuck Yourself)


Remember when comics were really bad? Well now you can all over again with NINJAK. Seriously this is from Valiant Comics, if you install this on your Comixology app the FBI should profile you as someone who hates comics. Toss it.

So what was the value of this box?

Combined Retail Value: ~$39.98

If you are looking to get more than you paid for, this box is not the best of the ones we have seen. Frankly, I have a problem imagining anyone using/wanting all this stuff. I really like the watch even though it’s cheap, the shirt will make for good trade fodder and the bracelet is great if I ever need to “survive” having an empty wrist or a broken shoelace, but the rest of the box is basically nonsense for me.

If this box interested you, I would recommend you join Loot Crate.

Linguist, Archeologist, Musical Savant, Robot, Asshat. Only one of these apply to this guy. The host of the show, who also sometimes writes and makes videos!